Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
