I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
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