I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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