you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Randomize
