don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
