Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
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