The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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