i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
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