You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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