It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
23 Insane Reasons People Got Fired
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
These 31 Gross People Really Put The ‘Trash’ In ‘Trashed’
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?