I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
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