I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
New York to be Host to Americaâ€™s Biggest Singles Event
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Kylie Jenner Wasnâ€™t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again