I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo