...is it true? will i see you next weekend
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
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Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
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I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god