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• (401): View more from Rhode Island

  Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa

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• (805): View more from California

  Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"

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• (850): View more from Florida

  I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."

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• (402): View more from Nebraska

  Chicken burrito, or no deal.

  (1-402): View more from Nebraska

  Is that code for my vagina?

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito

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  21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn

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• (774): View more from Massachusetts

  im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow

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• (252): View more from North Carolina

  after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?

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• (856): View more from New Jersey

  part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.

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• (503): View more from Oregon

  I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.

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• (250): View more from British Columbia

  She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.

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  19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”

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• (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.

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• (972): View more from Texas

  I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.

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• (575): View more from New Mexico

  Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.

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• (404): View more from Georgia

  I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.

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• (555): View more from

  Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one

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• (210): View more from Texas

  His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.

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