Texts From Last Night

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  (416): View more from Ontario

  I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey

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  (416): I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey http://tfl.nu/3mx1
  Replies (14) Good night (1422) Bad night (690)
• Favorite

  (858): View more from California

  the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.

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  (858): the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am. http://tfl.nu/40nx
  Replies (28) Good night (784) Bad night (3191)
• Favorite

  (517): View more from Michigan

  he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.

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  (517): he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there. http://tfl.nu/pbyg
  Replies (14) Good night (6291) Bad night (882)
• Favorite

  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.

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  (413): Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever. http://tfl.nu/3v3s
  Replies (54) Good night (8967) Bad night (1606)
• Favorite

  (904): View more from Florida

  I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion

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  (904): I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion http://tfl.nu/iqkp
  Replies (3) Good night (1019) Bad night (3251)
• Favorite

  (757): View more from Virginia

  she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...

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  (757): she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them... http://tfl.nu/ior4
  Replies (23) Good night (5455) Bad night (1678)
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.

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  (617): I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either. http://tfl.nu/ap8x
  Replies (6) Good night (2812) Bad night (967)
• Favorite

  (315): View more from New York

  See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday

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  (315): See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday http://tfl.nu/kg71
  Replies (8) Good night (2775) Bad night (1729)
• Favorite

  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...

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  (608): Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised... http://tfl.nu/yxma
  Replies (1) Good night (1163) Bad night (534)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.

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  (303): Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement. http://tfl.nu/mbmy
  Replies (2) Good night (1476) Bad night (566)
• Favorite

  (513): View more from Ohio

  It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike

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  (513): It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike http://tfl.nu/56lf
  Replies (6) Good night (481) Bad night (866)
• Favorite

  (315): View more from New York

  i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex

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  (315): i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex http://tfl.nu/a41g
  Replies (7) Good night (690) Bad night (335)
• Favorite

  (562): View more from California

  I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.

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  (562): I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom. http://tfl.nu/o8ix
  Replies (2) Good night (361) Bad night (721)
• Favorite

  (925): View more from California

  I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...

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  (925): I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis... http://tfl.nu/k30a
  Replies (1) Good night (355) Bad night (682)
• Favorite

  (716): View more from New York

  I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh

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  (716): I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh http://tfl.nu/zxyk
  Replies (0) Good night (378) Bad night (350)

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