I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
only if we run a train.
done.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize