I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
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