well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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