Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Randomize