I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
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It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
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I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
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