I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
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