This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Randomize
