I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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