so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
