Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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