worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Randomize
