I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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