dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
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When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
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Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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