trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
