come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
