he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Randomize
