The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
