If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize