HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Randomize
