I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Randomize
