i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
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