I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Randomize
