Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
