I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
im holly from the hills drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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