OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
