You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Also, beer. Big fan.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I'm sobbing to NWA
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Randomize