call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
