Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
