You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
