I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
