So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Randomize
