You don't have asthma, your pregnant
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
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