I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize