I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
