And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
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