Ambien. No doubt about it.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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