Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
Just took my morning after pill in the library
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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