i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Found your dick twin last night
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
