GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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