i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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