I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Randomize
