Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Randomize
