How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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