if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
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