Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize
