I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Randomize
