my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
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