He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
Church boner. Awkwardddd
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
