Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Randomize
