I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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