Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
