Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
