If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
