Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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