Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize
