Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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